We will rise up: We need a plan
Let’s face it. We’ve been at this for awhile now and it’s not easy. Call it social distancing, sheltering in place or self quarantining. I hesitate to call this our new normal, but in fact that’s what it is ….for now. It’s anything, but normal, isn’t it?
There are a lot of different feelings that can go with all these changes. A few weeks ago, I wrote about the feeling of panic, fear and anxiety. But, these are not the only feelings we are having about this invisible and very intrusive virus referred to as Coronavirus or Covid-19. If we are honest there are many other feelings coming up as our lives have been turned upside down and in some cases feel like have come to a screeching halt.
Anger-Anybody feeling angry? This has shown up everywhere. In the grocery, on the road, maybe at your workplace. And yes, even at home where everybody feels “trapped” with each other for long periods of time. It’s not like you can go work out at the gym or go sit in McDonald’s or Starbucks and have your favorite beverage, is it? You spend many days working within the confines of your home/property. You are going to get on each other’s nerves. Going to the grocery to find bare shelves does not make you feel calmer. You need space from each other. You need a plan.
Sad-In my world, we have what we call, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), often found during the winter months when there is less exposure to the sunlight. I would suggest that as a result of the Virus, we are in a different season right now where people may be experiencing a form of SAD. The isolation brought on by all of the restrictions we all face and the significant change in daily routine can have an impact on your mood. No matter how much you love your spouse and children, the togetherness you are experiencing may feel overwhelming. In the midst of all the not normal, that is a normal feeling. Please don’t add feelings of guilt to it. Again, you need a plan.
Frustrated-Taken out of your routine and not feeling like you have any control can make a person feel out of sorts. Ever feel like you don’t know where to start or what to do, so you do nothing? Being frustrated can be that feeling of annoyance and distress at wanting to change something, but either not knowing how or if you can. Sound familiar? Once again, you need a plan.
Grief-This is the one I think might be blindsiding people. Loss, isn’t just in death. Though we are hearing about plenty of that right now. Loss is knowing the kids can’t be in school. There are no proms, dances, plays, recitals or sporting events. All of their spring sports seasons canceled. Then, there are our senior students. They have worked and looked forward to that moment when they don their cap and gown and proudly receive their diplomas with family and friends in attendance. That is canceled. They will graduate, but without the fanfare. Loss of loved ones through death is different too. The opportunity to pay our respects and give hugs and support to surviving family members is not possible right now. Families are left to bury their loved ones in private with memorials to follow at later dates. There are other losses. Birthdays of those of all ages without parties, concerts of your favorite performers and delays of large events like the Indy 500 and the 2020 Tokyo Olympics. What about long planned weddings and those who just gave birth to a child only to be isolated away from friends and loved ones? Loss of jobs and the ability to go to the gym or out to dinner. To go where you want, when you want. Did you recognize all of these things are losses? I don’t remind you to depress you. I remind you of these things because to make you aware. And because, wait for it….you need a plan.
The Plan– Many years ago, I read a book by Kent Keith called “Do it Anyway”. I think it should be our mantra going forward as we face down this Virus. We must make up our minds to it. If you try to do it on your on, you will continue to battle all the above feelings and more. If you try to go around it and pretend it doesn’t exist, the same result. But, if we join together and go through it, we will come out on the other side stronger and healthier than ever before. So, despite this invisible Virus that is currently ravaging our community, our country and our world, let’s do it anyway.
People will be negative. Be calm and meditate daily for a minimum of two minutes anyway.
There will be angry outbursts and many will blame God. Be prayerful and stay in Faith anyway.
You will see the worst in people as they take advantage of the vulnerable and act selfishly. Be selfless and assist those in need anyway.
You will be separated from your family and friends and feel isolated. Reach out by phone, text, email, sending cards anyway.
There will be times you need your own space and others are in it. Take a time out. Sit on your porch, walk around the block, take time for yourself anyway.
The lack af activity will make you restless and irritable. Create social distance exercise in your neighborhood. Despite the isolation, you can inspire each other anyway.
Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness are creeping in and you feel distraught. Don’t give in. Do puzzles, coloring books, read, listen to your favorite music, knit, keep BUSY anyway.
You can’t sleep. You toss and turn. Your mind won’t shut off. You have choices. First stay off social media 1-2 hours before you go to bed. Keep your room cool and dark. Meditate before you go to sleep. As you lay there with your mind racing, focus your thoughts on all you have to be grateful for. Take nothing for granted. Control your breathing. If your mind starts to wander, refocus and do all the above anyway.
You are consumed by the news of the day and the fear you feel. Minimize your time watching the news. Choose wisely those you listen to. Focus on what medical experts are saying. Follow social distancing and proper hygiene. No matter what other conflicting information you hear, stay with reliable sources anyway.
Birthday parties, prom and graduation have been canceled. Find ways to celebrate and honor special moments anyway.
Breathe, breathe and breathe. Control the things you can and let go of the things you can’t. You can’t control the Virus. You can control how well you do or don’t take care of yourself. Whatever else, do this anyway.
Despite this horrible Virus, there is Beauty and Blessings. Spring is arriving; bringing green grass, blooming flowers, birds singing and buds on the trees. If you step outside, you can feel it in the air. The Blessings are many.
Against all odds, healthcare workers everywhere are rising to an occasion they may have practiced for, but prayed would never come. There is no real preparation for what they now face all day, every day. They themselves are at times exposed to the virus and a few have already lost their lives trying to save others. There will likely be more in the future. They are heroes and we are blessed to have such dedicated professionals across this nation.
We are blessed by teachers such as those in Texas who recently drove through neighborhoods to check on their students. We are blessed by parents who have become teachers and in some cases dance partners like the Nebraska State Trooper who learned his young daughter’s routine after her recital was canceled. Heroes one and all.
We are blessed by restaurants that not only stay open for us to get take out, but provide free lunches to students who are home from school. Several businesses across this country like Nando’s in Virginia are keeping employees busy as they prepare free meals for healthcare workers at local hospitals. More heroes.
We are blessed by the unsung heroes who help our most vulnerable citizens. While some are taking advantage; stealing food out of their carts and bullying them, others are stepping up and assisting, defending and protecting them.
We have unsung heroes making masks for healthcare workers and writing notes to those in our extended care facilities. In my hometown of Peru, Indiana, we have Joe, the donut man working crazy hours, charging next to nothing to provide donuts to healthcare workers, first responders and city/county workers.
All of these people do what they do without a second thought. They do these selfless acts as they look to find ways to focus their energy in a positive way and help their fellow citizens. We are Blessed by them. Having a hard time seeing the blessings? Perhaps you can think of a way you can be a blessing. No act of kindness is too small.
I CAN BE CHANGED BY WHAT HAPPENS TO ME
I REFUSE TO BE REDUCED BY IT! ~MAYA ANGELOU~
If you are struggling with anxiety or feeling discouraged, don’t sit with it too long. Sometimes it helps to have someone to talk to in addition to meditation, walking, journaling or whatever other coping you are doing on your own. There are people available to help you. Many are offering phone and virtual services. Your employer based employee assistance program (EAP) would be an option as well as hotlines that operate 24/7. I will include a few options in my area.
Continue to practice self care, social distancing and compassion for one another.
Blessings, Tammy
Parkview Behavioral Health 24/7. 1-260-373-7500 or 1-800-284-8439
Interested in mindful meditation -Dr. Dave. Johnson 1-260-266-8060