Remembering to be grateful
I have always been one to focus on what I have and to be grateful. Lately I have been reminded of this by my eight year old Border Collie Maya. These last few weeks have been a struggle for Maya and I. Maya had surgery on her left hind leg to remove a benign growth. Instructions were simple. Keep the cone on her so she can’t reach the many stitches that are keeping her incision tightly sewn together and allow her to heal.
From the beginning, Maya was not a fan of the infamous “cone of shame”. Neither was I for that matter. I would take the cone off of her when I was home and after hearing her fall off the bed, I started taking it off at night. Several days no problem. Then, I came home from work and found she had managed to get the cone partially off and it was entwined in her fur and dangling from her chin. She was panic stricken as I carefully removed it. The next day, I put it back on her before I left for work again; praying it would still be on and she’d be safe when I got home. All was well and she continued to ignore the incision. I sprayed the incision so it wouldn’t itch. I decided after that weekend, I wouldn’t put the cone on her when I went to work. That would prove to be a mistake.
First day went by. Great, no problem. Second day. Again, all is well. Then, came the fateful third day. It was dark when I got home and as soon as I walked in, I let her outside. When she came back in where I now had all the lights on, much to my horror, I saw it. The top part of her incision was broken open. She had licked/chewed the stitches. It was awful looking. I felt so responsible. I immediately put the cone back on her to prevent further damage. Now, we were both unhappy. I sent an email to the Vet’s office informing them of the situation and followed that up with a phone call first thing the next morning. Thankfully, they got us in quickly. I thought they were going to let me have it. I had been irresponsible. I had let Maya down. They didn’t. Instead, they took care of Maya. Removing the remainder of the stitches and putting in 15 staples in their place. In addition, it was infected. Her recovery would now be ten more days and the cone must stay on the entire time. I felt horrible hearing her cry as each staple went in. They tried to comfort her, but she kept crying out. I had caused this. It was a bad day for both of us.
Since that time, Maya and I have had moments. Moments of sadness. Moments of calm. Moments of mutual understanding. I made a mistake to take the cone off (yes really, I did it again) just to take her for a walk. When I went to put it back on, she jerked away from me. As I said her name and pulled her back towards me, she growled at me. Not a “I’m going to hurt you growl”, but rather, “I’m ticked off”. I actually had my head in the cone with her as I secured the cone under her chin and was talking with her. I started to cry seeing her so upset. She stopped. Then, started to lick my tears. I apologized to her over and over again. I was responsible. Later as I laid down close to her, reaching inside the cone to scratch her head, I saw something I hadn’t seen before. Actual tears in her big brown eyes. I have no words for how I felt in that moment. I thought my heart would break in two. Since then, I’ve seen her eyes get watery, but not actually have tears like they did that day.
Our journey is not yet over. We have five more days to go. I have been truly blessed these last days as friends have answered my call for assistance. Recognizing Maya’s struggle and my sometimes lengthy work days, I needed to know she was doing alright while I was gone. Two friends stepped forward and have been going over half way through the day to check on her, walk her and love on her. What an enormous help and relief. She is more relaxed…though I still occasionally see her trying to figure out how to get the cone off. She is sleeping better and hasn’t wet the bed anymore. Yes, we had that problem for awhile.
I know there are always going to be people who say she is only a dog. When I hear that it feels like a way of minimizing her importance, diminishing my feelings for her. As someone who couldn’t have children, she fills an empty space for me. She blesses my life every day. She meets me at the door when I come home from work and lays close to me when I don’t feel well. She is loyal, forgiving and loves unconditionally. She is protective and has advised me in her own special way. For example when I had been dating someone she didn’t think was right she got between us and just stared at him. She was right. He wasn’t the one.
She sometimes sasses me and leaves her toys for me to step on. She gets on my bed, waking me up in the middle of the night and on rare occasion has even wet the bed. She constantly wants to play and thinks I’m her personal toy no matter how tired I might be. She barks at absolutely nothing. She has gotten under foot countless times, nearly tripping me and one time I actually did fall in such a way I broke my foot.
For the record, I know having a dog is not the same as having a child. I’m surrounded by friends and family who have children. I know what that looks like. But every day, I am blessed by Maya and all the dogs that have been part of my life. There are people who abuse and mistreat animals just as there are those who abuse and mistreat children. I’m sure there is a special place for all of those people and I leave them to God and his perfect judgment.
In the meantime, I am thankful for the people who have blessed me and are part of my journey. But, these past weeks have served as a reminder how grateful I am for Maya and how reliant she is on me to take good care of her. She matters. She’s not “just a dog”. She’s family to me.
On this Thanksgiving, I remind you to count your blessings and to take time to be grateful. Grateful for those in your life, whether they be in the form of two or four legged family. That includes friends who are like family to you. If you can put your focus and energy into what you are grateful for, you will soon notice your worry and stress will fall away.
What I am thankful for this Thanksgiving just to name a few: I am grateful for Maya. I am grateful for my family. I am grateful for my health. I am grateful for my job. I am grateful for my friends; especially Tara and Kristi who helped with Maya this week. I am grateful for God’s forgiveness and love. I am grateful for safe travel. I am grateful for the time I had with family and friends that are no longer with me; like my grandparents and my dad. I think of them and miss them every day. What are you grateful for?
“Enjoy life. It’s a gift. Unwrap it with gratitude and love.” ~Mum-Writes.com~
Many Blessings,
Tammy