HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD; MY GUARDIAN ANGEL
Today is my dad’s birthday. His 19th in heaven. Doesn’t seem possible that he’s been gone that long. It takes me extra time to remember his voice, but I’m grateful I still can. My thoughts go to him a lot and I find myself having these conversations in my head. Wondering what he would say or advise me to do in different situations. That’s been happening more often these last few months.
My dad was a businessman, but what some people may not know is that he could fix just about anything. He had his own workshop in his basement. He had been to my home on more than one occasion to help me. Once we worked together to put a light fixture on my ceiling fan in the bedroom. Another time, he helped me build a deck. I had measured and ordered the lumber. He dug the holes and put in the support poles and we framed it together. I ended up doing the actual decking. But thanks to my dad I knew how to do it. That’s been true of so many things. He taught me a lot. Another time, he and our family friend Junior came up and replaced a sliding door for me. They took out the old one, picked up the new one and installed it. They made it look easy. After dad was gone, Junior helped me with a few projects. Now he’s gone too.
Hardly a day goes by I don’t think of dad. I’ve had times when there were things I didn’t feel I knew with certainty what to do. That’s been especially true these last few months since my home was damaged by another person. Now going on six months, it’s finally being repaired. Despite it being 2023, it is my belief and personal experience that a lot of contractors don’t show respect to women. If my dad had still been around, he would not have forced his way into the situation, but if I had asked he would have helped. I can tell you that by now I would have tapped out and let him deal with these contractors. (It’s been an exhausting and frustrating time.)Instead, I’m talking to him from a greater distance and waiting in silence. As I told a friend, these few months have been among the loneliest and most difficult of my life. I miss many things about dad, but his wisdom and help in times like these are the things I miss most. I was used to us not living in the same community. I was used to not seeing him or talking to him every day. But, not being able to reach out in times like these has been the hardest adjustment.
Over the years I’ve had moments when I’ve wondered; even worried that I didn’t let dad know just how much I appreciated him. We were alike in many ways. Both of us loved sports, enjoyed working on projects and we could argue with the best of them. But always I respected and loved him. At times I felt I should apologize to him. I was his only daughter and I never married. I feel I deprived him of being the father of the bride. All these years I’ve seen so many men talk of how important that is to them. My dad never got to experience that moment. He never complained or made me feel bad, but I’m sure he would have liked to have had that opportunity. Thankfully, my brothers came through for him and he did get to know how it feels to be a grandfather. A role he slid into so easily and was so good at.
My dad was not one to gush over you, but I do believe he was proud of me. I think he would have liked that I wrote a book. Definitely he supported anything that involved helping others. That’s who he was and what he would do. He wouldn’t make a big scene. He’d just do it. Most people have no idea how much or how often he helped someone out.
Dad was an over comer. His father left his mother, older brother and him before he was born. While he did have a relationship with his father, it would be his mother who raised him. She was bitter and blamed him for his father leaving. I would not know or understand that until I did genealogy, talked to my Uncle and dad was gone. I wish I had known sooner and could have told my dad how awesome he was in spite of words she spoke into him early in his life. He did right by his mother until the end. A hard thing to do when you haven’t been treated so great. Just one more thing that goes to his character.
No matter how much time passes I will always miss you dad. You are a great guardian angel. Your laughter, your stories and legacy will not be forgotten. Though I can’t hear your voice any longer, I can imagine what you would say and that helps. More and more as time goes by I’m appreciative of being taught the importance of treating every person with respect. No matter their age, sex or color of their skin. That along with a work ethic came from you. I don’t take it for granted that every child is taught that, but I’m sure glad you taught us.
Hope you are having an amazing birthday. With each passing year, more and more of your favorite friends and family seem to be joining you. There’s peace in knowing you aren’t lonely and in good company.
Blessings,
Tammy
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