The journey of life: A legacy of service
As we head into February, I can’t help but think of of my grandfathers. Both men passed away in February, though of different years. First, there was my grandfather Dewald Van Baalen. He died February 9, 1966. Then, my grandfather Russell Linden passed away February 3, 1978. Both men were taken from us too soon. My grandpa Van Baalen was only 62. And…my grandpa Linden didn’t fare much better losing his battle to ALS (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis) also known as Lou Gehrig’s at the age of 65.
I was just shy of seven when my grandpa Van Baalen passed away so my memories of him are few. While we all lived in Ohio at the time, he was in Columbus and we were in Marion and we didn’t get to see him as much as we would have liked.
Grandpa Van Baalen was a businessman and was in the shoe business. He was “Van” to those who knew him. He was a hard working and highly respected employee/executive of SCOA (Shoe Corporation of America). In all of my memories of him, he is wearing a suit. And…many times he would be smoking a cigar. This would prove problematic for me and my brother Dave as we once found one of grandpa’s discarded cigars in the trash we had been told to take out. It was smoked down for the most part, but there was just enough cigar left to peak the curiosity of two young children. We burned our trash back then and being older I had the matches. So, being the brave one, Dave put the cigar in his mouth and it was left to me to light it. Let’s just say the cigar was even shorter than we anticipated and I totally missed it and burned his nose instead. Cigar still in his mouth with a red streak running up his nose. Whoops. To say my mother was unhappy would be an understatement. And for obvious reasons; on those rare occasions when he smokes a cigar, Dave will not let me light it for him.
In contrast, I have many memories of my grandpa Linden. He was so fun and I loved being with him. He and grandma would pick us kids up in Marion to take us back to their house in Baltimore, a small community not far from Columbus, Ohio. He would talk to us the whole way and take us over what he called “tickle bumps” in the road. I have no doubt that he just loved hearing us giggle.
Grandpa Linden was a butcher. Thus, his nickname “Butch”. It would be years before I understood that him being a butcher is why everyone called him Butch. I just knew he worked behind the meat counter when we went to visit him at the store. I can’t speak for everyone who is a butcher, but my grandpa knew how to cook. As he battled ALS and was losing the use of his arms, he would spend time in the kitchen with me, teaching me his favorite recipe. In addition to cooking, grandpa and I solved all the problems of the world. I so loved talking with him. Sometimes I still do when I’m on my back porch spending quiet time. I’d give anything to hear his voice and get his sage advice. To this day, I can’t make “Turkey Puff” without thinking of him.
On the surface, it might appear that my grandfathers didn’t have a lot in common except the grandchildren they shared. But, in truth they were the same in all the ways that matter. They were compassionate, caring, hard working men who loved their families. Both were generous, had integrity and were well respected. And, both chose professions that provided service to others. They knew taking care of people was one of the most important things you can do. And, more than that, every person deserves to be treated with respect.
I know my family would agree with me when I say these men were important to all of us and died way too soon. But, their legacy to me was not in how they died, but in the way they chose to live their lives. Their career choices couldn’t have been more different, but what they taught all of us was the same. Be of service to others. It was a large part of both of them and it was ingrained in their children who in turn passed it on to my siblings, cousins and myself.
I was blessed to have these two men and my grandmothers teach by example what is important. I was doubly blessed that this was not lost on my parents and they continued the legacy of service and have passed it on to me and my brothers. But, make no mistake we each have a choice in whether we pass on what we have learned. I am grateful that this is what was shown to me. And, I know all too well that not everyone has this same advantage. If you were not blessed as I have been by people who modeled hard work and service to others then you have the opportunity to start this and pass it on to future generations in your family.
Though I have not been able to have children of my own, I fully understand that I have the same responsibility as my brothers and my cousins. To pass on to my nephews, nieces and others what was passed on to me. To be a person of integrity, hard work and service. And, hopefully through my efforts, they will see my grandparents (even if they never met them) and the positive impact they had on me. They will also see that you can choose any path. You can sell shoes, be a butcher or, in my case, you can be a Social Worker/ Therapist. There are so many ways to be of service to others.
Not long ago I was coming out of the grocery when I saw a man who was obviously disabled and struggling . Earlier in the day, it had been sunny, but the weather had taken a turn and it was now sleeting and blowing hard as dusk set in. No doubt this gentleman had not anticipated this change when he had first set out for the grocery earlier in the day. I sat there in my warm car, watching him struggle; trying to decide what to do. I could just imagine what my brother, the retired police officer would be saying. But, I couldn’t turn away. It would have haunted me. So… I said a quick prayer and pulled up beside him to see if he needed help.
This poor guy half froze, didn’t hesitate. He handed his groceries to me and pulled himself into the seat. It took me less than five minutes to take him home. But, walking in those conditions, physically disabled as he was, it would have taken at least an hour.
My commitment is real and my legacy will be of service as it was for my parents and their parents before them. I know from my love of genealogy and learning about my family that this tradition and legacy goes back generations.
I’m not suggesting everyone should do what I did when I saw the man outside the grocery. These days, it can be challenging to want to help, yet also stay safe. I’d be lying if I didn’t say there have been times when I have not felt safe and thus was unable to extend a hand. But, prayerfully and using my best judgment I will do all I can to help in any small, but positive way. If you are struggling to find purpose or to know what’s important, for me, this is what matters. To be able to recognize a situation or see a person in need and offer a hand as opposed to turning away. I hope someone would reach out to me if I were the one in need.
1 Peter 4:10 “Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms”.
Blessings,
Tammy